Desert Museum docents are the best!

Some of you know that my absolute most favoritest volunteer activity is being a Sunday docent at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum. And Sunday docents—They're the best and this is what they did for me yesterday.

It was a normal lunchtime, except it was my last day for four and a half months, an eternity, I think. Julia, my co-captain, was making her normal announcements but added that I was leaving for this really great cruise around the world. Suddenly there appeared a bag filled with colored tissue paper and presumably some other things, since it was pretty heavy and I had to open all of them and have a show-and-tell. Like Christmas in April!

The whole kit and kaboodle!

They gave me:

• A box of tissues (in case I cried, I think)
• Ear plugs (they don't think I snore, do they? No, must be Randy that snores)
• Hand sanitizer (they had all heard of outbreaks of norovirus and I guess they sort of want me to come back to ASDM)
• A blanket to keep warm in the colder climates ( the “blanket” is about 3” x 3”)
•  A battery-operated fan (for hot flashes? Or maybe because I had been complaining that it was going to be 45C [113F] in Dubai?)
•  Several energy drinks (I had been lolling about in the office all day)
• Two ASDM pins to trade
•  Did I mention I got earplugs?
• TWO sleep masks (to go with the earplugs, I think)
• An “extremely loud” whistle (to ward off the pirates off the Somali coast?)
• Glow sticks (to “add an extra glow to parties”)
• Tube shot glasses (to add even more of a glow to those parties—I wonder why they didn’t include the booze?)
• The most aptly named “Nauzene” motion sickness pill (for Randy of course as I NEVER get seasick)
• A sewing kit (probably for me to stitch up Randy when he trips over the tube shot glasses at the party)
• Hand warmers (did I mention it was going to be 113F in Dubai?)
• Specialized playing cards for Hearts, Rummy, and Go Fish (for the times when Randy & I cannot think of a single other thing to do)
• Two harmonicas ( in case we want to enter the passenger talent show, or in case Randy & I want to clear the room of every other person)
• More earplugs
•  A first aid kit with yet more energy drink, breath fresheners (are they trying to tell me something?), Dramamine (for Randy, of course), Advil PM & aspirin (did Randy put those in there?), anti-diarrheal AND laxative pills (no comment), a mini-flask (again, why didn’t they include the booze?), and last but most useful, hand sanitizer on a belt carrier.
• 3-D bookmarks (especially useful when trying to read and the ship is rocking and rolling)
• Specialized maps, some published some time in 1602 and written in Swedish, given to me so we don’t get lost down under and forget which way is up
• A journal so I’ll never forget what a great time we’ll have
• A monocular to use to help the captain find his way home by following the shorebirds
• The funniest and possibly most useful gift, a “Go Girl” that is "hygienic, portable, discreet, and reusable." None of the guys had any idea what that is. All the women knew exactly what it is.
• A guide to the stars from 1985—But the stars haven't changed in what? 4 billion years?
• And a (faux) leopard bag—Or maybe it’s faux cheetah or jaguar?—to carry it all in.
• And when all else fails, a certificate for a “Cheap divorce for cruisers” from the Law Firm of Lure’em, Fleece, and Screw’em whose legal advice is worth what I paid for it. Good at any of their offices, but of course they have no offices (thank you to Bill, lawyer/judge/co-captain).

The 1985 star chart

I especially like the logo!

Thanks so much, Sunday Docents, you made my day! But then you do that every Sunday!

Only 1 day and 16 hours to go!